Christian Courtship: Lowering (or Redirecting) Our Standards

June 3rd, 2009

Earlier today I found the blog of Thomas Umstattd, Jr (from my church in Austin).  One entry in particular caught my eye.  You should go give it a read.

Christian Courtship – The Need for Lower Standards

I have no opinion about his observations on demographics, but he has some wonderfully challenging insights.  Some of the good stuff:

Finding a wife is not like shopping. It’s not about comparing the features between disposable products. No one is perfect. Marriage is about finding someone to grow with, not someone to consume.


My goal is to become the kind of man who will attract the kind of woman that I want to marry.


We must lower our external standards and raise our internal standards if we ever wan to walk away from this problem.

Frank Turk (aka centuri0n) also added a comment earlier today, connecting things with the high call for husbands to Christ-like sacrificial love, in Eph 5.

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One Response to “Christian Courtship: Lowering (or Redirecting) Our Standards”

  1. While this is a reasonable way to say this, and maybe effective, I think there are better points to make. Or maybe what I should say is that the single most important trait men and women of God should seek after is changeability – we’ll never find someone perfect or possibly even terribly mature; the capacity and trend to maturity are much more valuable than maturity itself.
    Another way to phrase it is, learn submission. 🙂

    I just get a little weirded out by the perspective of improving so you can be marriageable. I know that isn’t what you’re saying, but it kind of reminded me of it. So “becoming the person someone else will want” is more applicable when it’s “becoming submissive to and affectable by our families in Christ and Christ Himself”
    … and then people will want to marry you…? I don’t know.